The Presumptuous Dreamer : A blog by Patrizia Verrecchia about Italian Life and Double Identity

puoi leggere questo blog anche in italiano, clicca sulla bandierina della lingua che preferisci:

The Presumptuous Dreamer

Experiencing change.

It is not yet a year since I started this blog, and reading my home page, I realized how much everything has changed. What I wrote six months ago is solidly past. Covid is still here, but it has changed too. It was a terrifying monster that overturned my life to the point that I have learnt to live with it. My plans and ambitions that were so rock-hard now fill all spaces like a liquid, which is not altogether negative. I still want to tell stories. I still want to be a bridge between the two cultures and the two languages that inhabit me. So my destination is the same, but the path is different:

Entering the park, confined by a footpath running along the fence wall on the right and a hedge of bushes and trees on the left, lays a meadow. The green climbs and then wholly disappears when it reaches the Pine Forest. The shade of centuries-old pine trees does not let the grass grow further. At one step from the hedge, another path created by feet and paws looking for a shortcut going up and down the slope looks like a line intentionally drawn parallel to the two vertical borders to interrupt the perfect rectangle of green.

A routine born from repeated action makes me always go up by the well-trodden path by the wall, then on my way back, I take the natural line made by busy humans and animals. One afternoon I was standing at the top under the pines, on my way down, and while looking at the green waves the wind painted moving the grass, I wondered why I had never crossed the meadow diagonally or zigzagging. You can walk on the lawns. There and everywhere else in the park. People are all around on the green, walking, playing, picnicking, and working out. So why was it so unsettling for me to think about changing my direction? I was scared! How silly! It was only a walk in the grass, a new track. In sunlight, no obstacles, no impairment, so? My heart started running when I put my first foot in the grass; it disappeared and was invisible from the ankle down. Then came the second, and tracing, in my mind, the diagonal path that would lead me to the main gate, I put one foot in front of the other surprised to see them emerge safely from the green sea. I was aware of the ridiculousness of having to call on courage to walk on a green field. I couldn’t see where I put my feet and didn’t know what I was stepping on. An exploration? What excessive feelings. My body was over-reacting and didn’t understand what was requested. My mind had lost the stakes.

That’s what I live when I make an essential change.

It is a difficult challenge, quite often impossible, but I must learn to make change part of my life since this world travels so fast and has decided to surprise me much more than I expected or imagined possible. Looking back to the past two years, first, we had a medieval-like pandemic, now a war in Europe. It seems like 1900 wants to last longer than a century. Furthermore, we can’t forget that the planet has been attempting to shake us off, as a dog does with fleas.

2000 we have imagined will come! But when?

A change of mindset is what I can do to open up to the future, even if I’m sure it won’t be easy and I’ll make many mistakes. They say letting go of the past is healthy, but everything except technology has stayed still for a long time.

I plan to walk every day in overgrown grass and see what happens. I hope you will come with me.

 

 

 

© Photo copyright Patrizia Verrecchia. All rights reserved.

 

Latest Posts

Teaching Adults

Teaching Adults The first meeting with a student is always decisive for how our teacher-student relationship will proceed. Getting it wrong means wasting a lot of time getting it right, and sometimes it never gets right. When I started teaching, I had only experienced...

Cultural Gap

A silent lesson When I want to explain the cultural differences between England and Italy, I tell two anecdotes I personally experienced. It was December 2004, and my husband and I were in London for a weekend. Our hotel was on the opposite banks of the River Thames...

Coratella: Traditional Recipe for Easter

Sfritt'. My recipe from the family I learned this recipe simply spending time, the days before Easter, in the kitchen with my family. My grandmothers, my aunts and my mother all cooked the Sfritt’ in a slightly different way, adding or taking out some ingredients. I...

Read More

Teaching Adults

Teaching Adults

Teaching Adults The first meeting with a student is always decisive for how our teacher-student relationship will proceed. Getting it wrong means wasting a lot of time getting it right, and sometimes it never gets right. When I started teaching, I had only experienced...

Cultural Gap

Cultural Gap

A silent lesson When I want to explain the cultural differences between England and Italy, I tell two anecdotes I personally experienced. It was December 2004, and my husband and I were in London for a weekend. Our hotel was on the opposite banks of the River Thames...

Coratella: Traditional Recipe for Easter

Coratella: Traditional Recipe for Easter

Sfritt'. My recipe from the family I learned this recipe simply spending time, the days before Easter, in the kitchen with my family. My grandmothers, my aunts and my mother all cooked the Sfritt’ in a slightly different way, adding or taking out some ingredients. I...

Italian Easter : Cooking Legacy

Italian Easter : Cooking Legacy

If ever there were a week when Italians must do a lot of cooking, it's the week before Easter.  When I was a child, lent fasting was a severe prescription for Catholic families. I remember my grandmother Modestina took it so seriously that only when the bells started...

The Patient Nightmare

The Patient Nightmare

The Patient Nightmare There are two words with the same meaning, the English un-ex-pect-ed-ly and in-as-pet-ta-ta-men-te in Italian, that I can’t say light-heartedly. I need to pause. I need awareness and concentration so my mouth can perform all the required...

Thank you,  Emilie Wapnick!

Thank you, Emilie Wapnick!

Thank you, Emilie Wapnick!  If only you were not so young.   I have nothing against young people. The problem is that Emilie was born too late. Too late for me. Too late to make the significant change she would have made in my life if only I could have met her...

Italy is Out

Italy is Out

Italy is Out Time to change perspective   "What I need is perspective. The illusion of depth, created by a frame, the arrangement of shapes on a flat surface. Perspective is necessary. Otherwise there are only two dimensions. Otherwise you live with your face...

The Big Other

The Big Other

The Big Other It was last August, an uncomfortably warm afternoon with nothing else to do but wait for the sun to go down so I could go out a bit. There I was with my red pencil and my notebook, ready to spoil the movie by Jan Schomburg The Big Other, with Callum...

Abigail Speaker

Abigail Speaker

(…continues from: read the previous post clicking HERE Abigail Speaker path breaker I always have goosebumps when I receive a parcel from Brooklyn, New York, with a book in it. I've never been to New York, but the city that is a myth to many worldwide is so part of my...